The Internet: (Amiably) Hey Jeff! What have you been up to the last couple of weeks?
Jeff: Well, all five of our shows have officially opened, and that allows us a lot more free time. Because all five sets have been constructed there's nothing left to do but act. And clean. Lots of cleaning.
The Internet: Sounds cool. Hey, wanna look at some por-
Jeff: (Crossing stage left) Because our regular show days are Thursday through Sunday we get Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday off. These days can, however, be booked for "special performances", meaning a large group of people can pay a set amount to see any show of their choice, assuming their choice is one of the five shows we perform regularly. There have been quite a few of these special performances booked but we've still managed to have three days off already, despite the fact that we've only been working for two months!
The Internet: Sweet. Hey listen, there's this site where you can see two chicks-
Jeff: On days that we only have a night performance we don't have to go to the theater until 1:00 P.M!
The Internet: Yeah right, the theater, that's great. Don't you think that you've written enough for one entry? I mean, you haven't updated your Facebook in minutes!
Jeff: (Puzzled) Internet, it's starting to seem like you don't even care about my summer. Every time I try to update you with pertinent information you bombard me with distractions until something catches my eye!
The Internet: (Apologetically) No, I do! I want to hear about all your boring crap, I really do! It's just that there's SO MANY pictures of cute kittens with funny captions out there!
Jeff: (Irate) WELL THAT MAY BE, but nonetheless I-... Did you say kittens?
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